Your Repository of Good Behavior

beginner2 min readeducation · business · philosophy · psychology

Build a mental database of exemplary behaviors from high-character individuals to shift your responses from impulsive reaction to reasoned, moral action, and become a positive exemplar for others.

THE IDEA

Your Repository of Good Behavior

Choosing people whose conduct you respect creates a personal board of exemplars: a repository of “good behavior.” As you read what people have written, as you talk to them, as you learn from their experiences, as you learn from your own experiences, you begin to build a database of situations and responses. Remembering these responses can give you a way to pause and consider what to do. Instead of reacting, and simply copying those around you, you think, “Here’s what the outliers do.”

When you face a new situation, you have a catalog of the responses that people on the far right of the bell curve have had in similar situations. You have alternatives to your first reaction.

Your board can pull you in the right direction despite your instincts.

If we have our board stacked with high-character people, we’ll end up wanting to be the highest-character version of ourselves. We’ll have the confidence to take a moral stand, and to act alone when the social tide goes the wrong way. We needn’t passively follow its ebbs and flows. Our personal board gives us the courage and insight to swim in the direction that’s best.

A final note on exemplars: just as other people serve on your personal board of directors, you serve on other people’s boards. Denzel Washington reminds us of this point: “You never know who you touch. You never know how or when you’ll have an impact, or how important your example can be to someone else.”

Maybe it’s the new employee down the hall. Maybe it’s your kids. Maybe it’s your cousin. It doesn’t matter. What matters is there’s someone out there looking up at you and using your behavior as their North Star. Your example may become part of how they decide what to do. As Seneca said, “Happy is he who can improve others not just when he is in their presence, but even when he is in their thoughts!”

When to use it

Before making a major personal or professional decision, mentally consult the exemplars on your board to evaluate options through their virtues (courage, integrity, patience).
When onboarding a new team member, consciously act with the character you’d want them to emulate, knowing your behavior becomes part of their repository.
Create a written list of 5–10 exemplars with a note on their defining trait(s) and review it weekly to internalize their responses.
During a contentious meeting, silently ask yourself, ‘What would [exemplar] do?’, to buy a moment of pause and choose a reasoned response over a reactive one.

FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE

In practice

Facing an ethical dilemma at work

When pressured to cut corners on a project, you recall a mentor who once refused to compromise quality despite losing a client. Their principled stand reminds you that long-term trust matters more than short-term gain, so you push back respectfully and suggest a transparent alternative.

Resisting peer pressure in a social setting

At a party where people are gossiping about a colleague, you recall a mentor who redirected such conversations without humiliating anyone. You ask about a shared project and give the group another subject to discuss.

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A MOMENT TO REFLECT

Put it to work.

Who are the three highest-character individuals—living or historical—that you would want on your personal board of directors, and what specific quality would each bring?
Think of a recent situation where you reacted impulsively. Which exemplar from your repository might have responded differently, and how could you apply that next time?
Consider a person who may be looking up to you. What is one concrete behavior you can model this week to be a positive North Star for them?