The Hedonic Treadmill and Knowing What to Want
The hedonic treadmill describes adaptation to changed circumstances: an achievement or purchase can become ordinary, leaving us wanting the next one. Parrish uses the idea to ask which goals are worth pursuing and how social comparison shapes our choices.
THE IDEA
The Hedonic Treadmill
Psychologists Philip Brickman and Donald T. Campbell coined the term hedonic treadmill to describe adaptation to changed circumstances. The excitement of a promotion or purchase can fade as it becomes familiar, prompting a search for the next improvement. This does not mean every major change leaves happiness unaffected.
Social Comparison
Our comparison group can change with our circumstances. Before owning a car, we may compare ourselves with other people who lack one. After buying it, we may start noticing people with better cars. The achievement meets an old desire while creating a new standard.
Happy-When Thinking
Parrish calls this becoming "happy-when" people: expecting happiness to arrive with a promotion, more money, or a partner. If each milestone becomes the new baseline, reaching goals does little to resolve the feeling that something is missing.
Knowing What to Want
Parrish connects this problem to phronesis, or practical wisdom. Choosing a worthwhile goal requires judgment as well as knowing how to reach it. His examples emphasize meaningful relationships and good company alongside a reconsideration of wealth, status, and power.
To apply the lesson, examine a goal you have taken for granted. Consider what it would change in daily life, which benefits might fade, and whether its continuing costs are worth paying.
When to use it
Reevaluating career goals by considering the daily work, relationships, title, and salary each path offers.
Making major purchasing decisions (house, car, luxury goods) with awareness that initial excitement will fade and long-term costs or comparisons may erode satisfaction.
Designing personal development plans that balance ambition with cultivation of family, friendships, and community involvement.
Guiding organizational culture away from purely extrinsic reward systems toward recognition of collaboration, purpose, and employee well-being.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
The New Car
At 16, you believed a car would bring permanent happiness. After getting one, you were euphoric for two weeks, then reality set in: insurance, gas, maintenance, and comparing your car to others' nicer vehicles. You reverted to the same discontent you felt before owning a car.
The Promotion Cycle
Starting a new job, you were convinced a promotion would make you happy. You worked hard, got promoted, felt great for a few weeks—then new responsibilities and comparisons with a higher peer group left you as dissatisfied as before, craving the next promotion.
The Lonely CEO
A CEO spent his career pursuing wealth and status with sharp elbows, viewing colleagues as means to an end. After retiring, he found his many 'golfing friends' were unavailable—they had only tolerated him out of necessity. His transactional approach left him with meaningless relationships and regret.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
Think of a recent achievement or purchase that you expected to make you happier. How long did the happiness last, and what did you start wanting next?
In what areas of your life are you playing by 'society’s scoreboard' instead of your own values? What would change if you prioritized meaningful relationships over external markers of success?
If you could look back on your life from a future perspective (like Scrooge), what pursuits do you suspect you’d regret not prioritizing?
References
- Hedonic Relativism and Planning the Good Society — Philip Brickman and Donald T. Campbell (1971)
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- Clear Thinking Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results (Shane Parrish)