The Double Standard Test
A mental model that asks you to check if you are judging others by a standard you wouldn't apply to yourself, or judging yourself more harshly than you would judge others in the same situation.
THE IDEA
THE DOUBLE STANDARD TEST
As a young man, “Dan” (not his real name) attended a military high school with a very lopsided gender ratio. There were around 30 girls in his class and 250 boys. Because the girls had so much choice, they tended to go for guys who were especially attractive, athletic, or charming.2 That did not describe Dan. He was socially awkward and awkward-looking, and he received none of the girls’ scarce attention. Stung by their disinterest, he concluded that girls were all “stuck-up bitches.”
But one day he did a thought experiment that changed his perception. He asked himself: “Can you honestly say that if the situation was reversed, you wouldn’t be doing the exact same thing?” The answer was clear. “Yeah, if that were the case, I’d definitely be making time with all the hotties,” he realized. That perspective shift didn’t immediately net him a date, but it did make him feel more at peace with the situation at school, and it made it easier for him to connect with women when he was a little older.
What Dan did was a version of the “double standard test”: “Am I judging other people’s behavior by a standard I wouldn’t apply to myself?” The double standard test can be applied to groups as well as individuals. In fact, you’ve probably already encountered this test in its most common form—hurled angrily across the political aisle: “Oh, come on, stop defending your candidate! How would you have reacted if someone from our party did the same thing?”
It’s much rarer for someone to turn that question on themselves, but it happens occasionally. I was impressed to see the double standard test pop up in an online discussion in 2009 about the Democrats’ intention to abolish the filibuster option. One commenter—a Democrat—expressed disapproval: “I’m just imagining how I would have reacted if I’d have heard that a similar tactic was used by [Republican president George W. Bush] about a war budget or something of that nature. I wouldn’t like it one bit,” he said.3
So far, these examples have involved judging other people or groups by an unfairly critical standard. But this test can also reveal the opposite double standard—that you’re judging yourself more harshly than you would judge someone else in exactly the same situation. If you’re kicking yourself for asking a stupid question in class or in a meeting, imagine someone else asking the same “stupid” question. What would your reaction be? How big a deal would it be?
When to use it
When evaluating the actions of political opponents, apply the double standard test to ensure consistency.
In personal conflicts, use the test to see if you are unfairly blaming the other person.
When setting performance expectations for yourself or others, check if you are applying a consistent standard.
In debates about ethics or morality, use the test to reveal hypocrisy.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Dan's military school experience
Dan judged girls as 'stuck-up bitches' for not paying attention to him, but when he imagined the situation reversed, he realized he would do the same thing. This shifted his perspective.
Filibuster abolition debate
A Democrat commenter opposed abolishing the filibuster because he imagined how he would react if Republicans had done it, applying the double standard test to his own party.
Self-judgment in meetings
If you feel embarrassed for asking a stupid question, imagine someone else asking the same question. You would likely be less critical of them, revealing a double standard against yourself.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
Can you recall a time when you criticized someone for a behavior you yourself would do in a similar situation?
How might the double standard test change your view on a current political or social conflict?
When was the last time you were overly self-critical? Would you apply the same harsh standard to a friend?
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- The Scout Mindset (Julia Galef)