Remember That for Yellows the Most Important Thing Is to Look Good. All the Time.
Erikson portrays Yellows as attention-seeking people who can dominate a conversation. He recommends discreet feedback about making room for others, while warning that a criticism of self-centered behavior may meet resistance.
THE IDEA
Remember That for Yellows the Most Important Thing Is to Look Good. All the Time.
“Me, me, me.” Yellows have strong egos, just like Reds, no doubt about that. They like getting attention; they throw themselves into the center of things faster than anyone else. They enjoy themselves the most when they’re in the middle of where the action is. Your yellow friend is a ray of sunshine, talking louder and faster than everyone else and lighting up a room with his behavior.
“Shine all the spotlight on me. See me, hear me, like me.” But this means that no one else gets any space. Many conversations end up with the Yellow individual loudly and resonantly speaking about his experience or his opinion. No matter what you are talking about—war, starvation, dieting, cars, executives, gardens—a Yellow will bring up a story in which he himself is the protagonist. If he doesn’t have any story, he’ll make one up.
Their thoughts often begin with the word “I.” “I want,” “I think,” “I can,” “I know,” “I will.” It’s quite natural. They like other people, but there is one thing they like even more: themselves.
Conclusion: Yellows need to understand that there are other people in the room or working on the project besides themselves. You can never allow Yellows to consume all the oxygen. They need to hear— from someone with courage and perseverance—that they have to let others enter the conversation or whatever it may be.
It’s impossible to explain this in the midst of a conversation with others present. It won’t fall on fertile ground. A Yellow can be very offended by such criticism. He’ll think things like, “Everyone else just thinks of themselves,” or, “I’m the only one who looks out for me.” This type of feedback must be given discreetly and in a positive way. It depends a little bit on how Yellow the person in question is, so you will probably need a plan.
Be prepared for one thing: You may very well become enemies in the process. You’re definitely taking a risk here. Hearing that you are egocentric and self-centered is extremely unflattering. Yellows will understand this; they’re not stupid. But they will just think that your analysis is wrong. So you’ll have to work a lot here. Or swap pals.
When to use it
Managing a team with a Yellow member: Balance participation by setting clear turn-taking rules and acknowledging contributions privately.
Sales interactions with a Yellow client: Emphasize recognition and status to build rapport, while steering conversation toward mutual benefit.
Negotiations: Understand that a Yellow may focus on ego; offering praise for their insights can facilitate agreement.
Giving performance feedback: Prepare discreet, positive phrasing to address self-centered behavior, anticipating potential defensiveness.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Meeting Monologue
In a team brainstorming session, a Yellow repeatedly interrupts others to share their own ideas and stories about past successes, leaving little room for input from quieter members. The meeting’s agenda becomes derailed as the Yellow dominates the discussion.
Social Storytelling
At a dinner party, a Yellow tells a dramatic story about a work project, exaggerating their role to appear more impressive. When another guest tries to share a similar experience, the Yellow quickly redirects the conversation back to themselves.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
When have you observed a Yellow dominating a conversation? How did it affect the group dynamic?
If you identify as a Yellow, how can you practice active listening to give others space?
What strategies can you use to give feedback to a Yellow without damaging the relationship? Why might they be defensive?
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- Surrounded By Idiots (Thomas Erikson)