Red Personality Type: Communication and Ego

If we look at how a Red communicates, we can understand why many perceive him as egotistic:

• “I think we should accept this proposal.”

• “I want that assignment.”

• “This is what I think about it.”

• “I have a good idea.”

• “Will we do this my way or the wrong way?”

Add a sharp eye and distinctive body language and you will see someone who will take what he wants. He will fight for his interests. He will tell everyone who will listen that he is capable of doing whatever he undertakes. Some people, especially Greens, find that this “I” form of speaking is unsettling. A Red’s “I” message occupies their minds. (They share this trait with Yellows, who also have strong egos.)

But we’ve learned to take care of one another. We know that being solitary is not the same thing as being strong, that we need one another to survive. Cooperation is the model, and I’ve preached this for over two decades. So we think it’s egotistic when Reds speak only about themselves. They make sure to help themselves before helping others. They are often willing to trample on someone else if they see an opportunity to advance themselves. They may not do this consciously, but the effect is the same.

Reds often come out the winners in discussions. They see this as a natural part of a conversation. They always know best and will assert that everyone else is wrong. It suits their ego to behave this way. The aftermath of this method is that they lose friends, people can dislike them, and they are cut off from information because no one wants them in the group. Once they’ve noticed this, they may well just decide that all the other people are idiots.

A few years ago, I was one of six people who was seated at the table having an evening meal. In some anguish, a man, Green-Blue, told me he was not feeling well. He couldn’t live up to the responsibilities his employer laid on his shoulders. He was hard-pressed by his burdensome workload, and he found it difficult to sleep at night. This caused even more stress for him because he knew that if he didn’t get a good night’s rest it would be even harder for him to perform at work. His wife, sitting beside him, tried to hide her discomfort. The situation was certainly not comfortable for anyone in the room. Everyone at the table offered encouraging remarks along with cautious questions about how he thought he might be able to reverse the difficult situation. We all expressed our support as far as we could.

Except for the Red. After ten minutes, the only Red at the table finally had enough and tore into the distraught, stressed-out little devil.

The Red’s analysis was as clear as day: “I think you complain too much. You’re just earning your salary. I’ve never been sick, and I think people worry too much; I would never end up in your situation, and I really think you should pull yourself together.”

What a dinner that was! Let’s be honest—Reds are the ones who always believe they are surrounded by idiots.