Receptiveness to Criticism
Many people claim to welcome criticism but react poorly when receiving it. True openness to criticism is demonstrated by actively seeking it out, rewarding critics, and examining one's track record of acting on feedback.
THE IDEA
2. How do you react to personal criticism?
Maybe you’ve had a boss or a friend who insisted, “I respect honesty! I just want people to be straight with me,” only to react poorly when someone took them up on that. They got offended or defensive or lashed out at the feedback-giver in retaliation. Or perhaps they politely thanked that person for their honesty and then gave them the cold shoulder from then on.
It’s a lot easier to say you welcome criticism than it is to actually welcome it. But in so many domains, getting honest feedback is essential to improvement. Could your public speaking skill be improved? Do your customers have complaints? Are there things you’re doing as a boss, employee, friend, or romantic partner that are frustrating to other people?
To gauge your comfort with criticism, it’s not enough just to ask yourself, “Am I open to criticism?” Instead, examine your track record. Are there examples of criticism you’ve acted upon? Have you rewarded a critic (for example, by promoting him)? Do you go out of your way to make it easier for other people to criticize you?
A friend of mine named Spencer runs a start-up incubator and manages several teams of people. Twice a year, he invites all his employees to fill out a survey on how he’s doing as a manager. The survey is anonymous, to make it easier for people to be candid. He’s also learned to phrase his feedback requests in multiple ways to more effectively coax criticism out of people. For example, in addition to asking “What are my weaknesses as a manager?” he asks, “If you had to pick one thing for me to improve on, what would it be?”
I don’t score very well on this aspect of scout mindset. I once approached my students for “honest feedback” while asking them leading questions. I hate getting personal criticism and have to all but force myself to seek it out. The difference between me and Spencer on this score is sometimes very stark—such as the day when he approached me with this enthusiastic suggestion: “Hey, Julia, I just heard about this cool speed-dating event,” he said. “You go on a five-minute ‘date’ with ten different people, and then each person tells you their impressions of you and how you could improve! Want to sign up with me?”
“Spencer,” I replied sincerely, “I would rather saw off my own leg with a butter knife.”
When to use it
A manager wanting to improve team performance by encouraging honest feedback from employees.
A public speaker seeking to improve their skills by asking for candid critiques.
A student wanting to improve their writing by soliciting peer review.
An entrepreneur testing a product by actively seeking customer complaints.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
The Disconnect Between Stated and Actual Openness to Criticism
A boss who claims to value honesty but gets offended or retaliates when given honest feedback, demonstrating the gap between saying and doing.
Spencer’s Feedback System
Spencer runs a startup incubator and twice a year sends anonymous surveys to employees, phrasing questions in multiple ways (e.g., 'What is one thing I should improve?') to elicit candid feedback.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
When was the last time you received criticism and how did you react?
How do you actively seek out honest feedback from others?
What steps can you take to make it easier for people to give you critical feedback?
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- The Scout Mindset (Julia Galef)