Realize That Yellows May See Your Lips Moving but Not Hear Anything You’re Saying
In Erikson’s account, people he describes as Yellow often react defensively to negative feedback, especially in public. He recommends a friendly tone, specific evidence, persistence, and checking that the person has understood before agreeing on action.
THE IDEA
All of us make mistakes and no one is perfect. This is obvious to everyone, even to a Yellow. In hypothetical discussions, Yellows can agree that other people really need to get a grip, sort things out, and do better. They can even admit that there are no perfect people. So far, no problems. The problems arise when we try to make a particular Yellow understand that he may need to improve. This creates a conflict, especially if the criticism is expressed in public.
Yellow people find it difficult to cope with criticism. They don’t like it because it doesn’t make them look good. Imagine, there’s someone who doesn’t like everything they do and everything they say! I have individually sat down with Yellows and given them personal feedback on their profiles. Everything goes fine until we get to the page with the heading “Areas of Improvement,” which is to say, weaknesses.
Even if we’re on good terms, the temperature in the room gets significantly cooler. Defensive walls pop up quicker than you can say “poor self-awareness.” Deep down the Yellow individual knows that he has weaknesses; he just won’t consider talking about them.
Conclusion: If you wish to get through to a Yellow with negative feedback, you need to be persistent. Create a friendly atmosphere in the room and find the right tone so that your criticism lands where it should.
You can always slam your fist on the table as hard as you can to really shake him up, lay down the cold, hard truth, and give it to him straight. I don’t recommend this. Better to work slowly and consistently, repeating the same feedback until he understands.
Clarity is key. Make sure to be extremely well prepared, with all possible facts to substantiate your claims. Yellows are clever manipulators. If he senses that you’re not serious in your criticism and that you won’t follow up, he’ll lure you off track. He is good at smokescreens. Make sure you don’t get lost in the fog.
Get real answers to your questions, and be sure that he understands the message. Insist that he writes down what you have said. Ask him to repeat your feedback.
You also need to set up a plan of action. But save that for the next meeting. Right now, you’ve probably gotten as far as you can with a Yellow. You’ll just exhaust yourself if you keep going.
One more thing: This doesn’t happen with positive feedback. Then, the Yellow will jump on the bandwagon quicker than you can imagine.
When to use it
Delivering performance reviews to an employee with a Yellow personality type.
Providing constructive criticism to a team member who reacts defensively in public meetings.
Sharing difficult feedback with a friend or partner who avoids discussing their weaknesses.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Giving profile feedback to a Yellow
During one-on-one sessions with a Yellow personality, they are receptive until reaching the 'Areas of Improvement' section. The atmosphere cools, and defensive walls arise. To succeed, the feedback giver must be persistent, repeat the message, and ensure the Yellow writes it down to reinforce understanding.
Positive vs. negative feedback with a Yellow
A Yellow personality eagerly accepts positive feedback and jumps on board quickly. In contrast, negative feedback triggers defensiveness and resistance, requiring careful preparation and a calm, friendly tone to be heard.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
How do you typically respond to negative feedback? Do you see traits of the Yellow personality in yourself?
What strategies can you use to prepare for delivering critical feedback to a colleague who is sensitive to criticism?
Why do you think Yellows are more receptive to positive feedback than negative feedback, and how can this knowledge help in communication?
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- Surrounded By Idiots (Thomas Erikson)