Practice Self-Awareness
Practicing self-awareness means noticing your moment-to-moment focus and inner voice, especially negative or condemning self-talk that can reinforce distorted thinking.
THE IDEA
Practice Self-Awareness
You can't change what you don't see, so pay attention to what you focus on from minute to minute. Listen to what you say to yourself. Is your self-talk mostly negative and condemning?
When to use it
Before an important meeting, check your self-talk for any unrealistic expectations or self-criticism.
When receiving constructive feedback, use self-awareness to separate the factual message from your emotional reaction.
At the end of each day, reflect on moments when your inner voice was harsh and consider a more balanced perspective.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Catching Negative Self-Talk
After making a minor mistake at work, a person automatically thinks, 'I always screw things up.' This pattern ignores past successes and magnifies the error. Practicing self-awareness would involve noticing that thought and challenging it with evidence of times they succeeded.
Recognizing Catastrophic Thinking
When a friend doesn't reply to a message immediately, someone might think, 'They must be angry at me.' Self-awareness helps pause and consider alternative explanations, such as the friend being busy.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
In the last hour, what was the general tone of your self-talk? Was it mostly positive, neutral, or negative?
Can you identify a specific situation where you used an absolute term like 'always' or 'never' in your thoughts? How might that be an overgeneralization?
When you feel a strong negative emotion, what story are you telling yourself? Is that story fully accurate?
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- Thinking in Systems and Mental Models Think Like a Super Thinker (Dawson, Marcus P)