Narcissist Fallacy
The narcissist fallacy occurs when one falsely assumes that others are thinking about, noticing, or caring about them, projecting their own self-importance onto others' motivations.
THE IDEA
4.6 NARCISSIST FALLACY
In Ancient Greek mythology Narcissus was a young man who was in love with his own image. Narcissism usually refers to a type of behavior that is egotistical or vain. The narcissist fallacy occurs when one assumes that others are thinking about him or her. This is similar to the fallacy of projection, where one projects one’s beliefs, values, or feelings onto others. The key difference between these two fallacies, however, is that you commit the narcissist fallacy when you make the false assumption that people notice you, care about you, or are thinking about you. Consider these examples:
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He smiled when I walked by. He must think these new jeans look really good on me.
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My neighbor doesn’t talk to me anymore. It’s probably because he’s jealous of my new car.
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I’ll go ahead and pull onto the freeway. Other cars will see me and let me in.
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Today the mailman was rude to me and so was the toll booth attendant. I can’t believe that people have been treating me so poorly on my birthday!
In each of these examples an assumption is made about others and their motivations and concerns. If we are honest with ourselves, we know that those who we encounter in everyday life are not necessarily thinking about us, even when they treat us in a certain manner. Other people have their own personal preoccupations—financial, marital, political, medical, spiritual, etc.—which often do not include us.
When to use it
Interpreting a coworker's curt reply as personal dislike when they might be stressed about a deadline.
Assuming a driver who doesn't let you merge is being intentionally rude, rather than distracted or cautious.
Feeling hurt that a friend didn't congratulate you on a major milestone, forgetting they may not have known or were busy.
Believing that people are staring at you because of a minor wardrobe choice, when in reality they are absorbed in their own thoughts.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
Example 1: Smile interpreted as admiration
He smiled when I walked by. He must think these new jeans look really good on me.
Example 2: Neighbor's silence attributed to jealousy
My neighbor doesn’t talk to me anymore. It’s probably because he’s jealous of my new car.
Example 3: Assuming drivers will yield
I’ll go ahead and pull onto the freeway. Other cars will see me and let me in.
Example 4: Rude treatment on birthday
Today the mailman was rude to me and so was the toll booth attendant. I can’t believe that people have been treating me so poorly on my birthday!
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
Can you recall a recent situation where you assumed someone's behavior was about you, but later realized they were preoccupied with their own concerns?
How might the narcissist fallacy affect your interpretation of strangers' neutral expressions or actions?
What strategies could help you avoid assuming others are thinking about you in everyday interactions?
Often confused with
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- Informal Logical Fallacies A Brief Guide