I COME IN PEACE

"I COME IN PEACE"

When discussing an extraordinary claim with a believer, I recommend being friendly about it. It’s usually better for everyone. Just don’t be so nice that you let yourself become a punching bag. You have to stand up for your brain and you have to work to keep the conversation somewhere inside the general vicinity of honesty and reality. Many people who believe weird things veer off into fantasyland every chance they get and try to take you with them. They usually seem to do this without even realizing it, so I tend to be forgiving about it. No matter how strange a conversation may become, however, I never assume people are lying or are hopelessly stupid. Maybe they don’t realize how badly they are abusing logic and torturing common sense. Maybe they haven’t given the subject much thought and are just winging it. Maybe they are hypercompetitive and would rather spew crazy talk than risk going silent and “losing” by default. Regardless of why they do it, however, it is the responsibility of a good skeptic to keep things as sensible as possible.

Remember that you’re not rude for doing nothing more than asking people to explain, defend or prove a belief that they are trying to talk you into accepting. I would never go to the home of someone who believed in an imminent Judgment Day, knock on the door, and demand proof that the world is about to expire. But if people come to my door and declare that these are the final days, then it’s open season on their claim. I can ask questions and demand all the evidence I want. You are never wrong for being skeptical of an unusual or important claim, and you are never a jerk for challenging a claim when someone dumps it in your lap. Just because others think it’s the greatest thing ever doesn’t mean you have to suspend your thinking. Besides, if their belief can’t hold up to a little scrutiny, then you are probably doing them a favor by at least presenting them with the opportunity to reconsider their conclusions. However, if a belief is doing harm to someone, then that’s plenty of justification to challenge it anytime, regardless of context. It sometimes helps to remind believers that true claims have nothing to fear from skepticism. If believers refuse to think critically about their claims, then call them on it. Why are you reluctant to challenge a claim that you say is so important and obviously true? What are you afraid of?

One can easily avoid being too harsh to sensitive ears by softening the delivery of a skeptical challenge. You don’t even have to “tell” them anything. Simply asking questions works wonders. Blasting a believer with the blunt force of facts, declarations, and accusations can feel like a mean-spirited attack. Questions tend to feel much gentler. Here are some hypothetical exchanges between a believer and a skeptic to help illustrate the point: