How to Become Mother Teresa
Taleb argues that mistakes and changing circumstances reveal information about character. He values people who acknowledge an error, learn from it, and avoid repeating it.
THE IDEA
How to Become Mother Teresa
Variability causes mistakes and adaptations; it also allows you to know who your friends are. Both your failures and your successes will give you information. But, and this is one of the good things in life, sometimes you only know about someone’s character after you harm them with an error for which you are solely responsible—I have been astonished at the generosity of some persons in the way they forgave me for my mistakes.
And of course you learn from the errors of others. You may never know what type of person someone is unless they are given opportunities to violate moral or ethical codes. I remember a classmate, a girl in high school who seemed nice and honest and part of my childhood group of anti-materialistic utopists. I learned that against my expectations (and her innocent looks) she didn’t turn out to be Mother Teresa or Rosa Luxemburg, as she dumped her first (rich) husband for another, richer person, whom she dumped upon his first financial difficulties for yet another richer and more powerful (and generous) lover. In a nonvolatile environment I (and most probably she, too) would have mistaken her for a utopist and a saint. Some members of society—those who did not marry her—got valuable information while others, her victims, paid the price.
Further, my characterization of a loser is someone who, after making a mistake, doesn’t introspect, doesn’t exploit it, feels embarrassed and defensive rather than enriched with a new piece of information, and tries to explain why he made the mistake rather than moving on. These types often consider themselves the “victims” of some large plot, a bad boss, or bad weather.
Finally, a thought. He who has never sinned is less reliable than he who has only sinned once. And someone who has made plenty of errors—though never the same error more than once—is more reliable than someone who has never made any.
When to use it
Evaluating business partners or collaborators during periods of market volatility or crisis.
Assessing the trustworthiness of colleagues or friends after they have made a significant error.
Personal development: deliberately embracing mistakes as learning opportunities to build reliability and self-knowledge.
Recruiting: Ask candidates how they handled setbacks, what they changed, and whether later results support their account of learning.
FROM THEORY TO EVERYDAY LIFE
In practice
The Classmate Who Seemed a Saint
Taleb recounts a classmate’s relationships with increasingly wealthy partners as evidence that her conduct differed from her earlier ideals. The example illustrates his judgment about what changing circumstances revealed.
The Reliable Sinner
Taleb’s maxim favors someone who has learned from mistakes over someone who has never been tested by one. The relevant evidence is how the person responded and changed their conduct, rather than the number of errors alone.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Put it to work.
When have your own mistakes revealed someone's true character—either positively or negatively?
Think of a time you learned more from a failure than a success. What specific information did you gain?
How do you react to your own errors: with introspection and growth, or defensiveness and blame? What does that say about your reliability?
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
Source texts
- Antifragile (Nassim Nicholas Taleb)